Hello, dear readers! For those of you new to the online phenom known as this humble little column, welcome, I’m Leada Stray and I’ll be your ringmaster for this farcical voyage! For those of you who are returning readers, welcome back to another edition of Living Large And Taking Charge.
In today’s sobriquet, we’re going to have a little chat about some sneaky fun for Halloween and a little chat about fall fashion. Unfortunately, Mama’s sit down with Deb Graf – the gore-entranced genius creator of Graffenstyne Design’s (http://graffenstyne.webs.com/) – has been postponed, thanks to an unfortunate incident with a fake eyeball and a fire extinguisher full of blood (Mama is told there was a tongue depressor involved, somewhere in the debacle). Tune in on Wednesday, for a super special interview edition of Living Large where we catch up to our overworked mistress of gore, and hopefully find out just what role the tongue depressor played in keeping her away from her rabid fans!
We’ve got a lot of ground to cover today, so let’s jump right in with that fabulous little piece of Halloween fun for your enjoyment.
That’s right readers, Mama is on a spider kick, and this is about the only time of year she can get away with it (with the exception of being smacked in the eye by the occasional panicking arachnophobe). So here’s what you do darlings, get some of those little black plastic spiders from a dollar store (Mama buys the white ones and hand paints them for super realism, but the black ones are fine.) Now be sure to get the really little ones, the ones that are actually spider size, not those ginormous monsters. Take a little hair gel, glue or tape (or get sneaky with a hidden bobby pin if you have longer hair) and attach one, JUST one, to the upper side of the back of your head or somewhere where it looks like you may have not noticed it. Now cunningly attach one to a sleeve and one to a pant leg, (best to wear light clothes for this), and watch the entertainment ensue as helpful strangers randomly focus in on your lifelike adornments and have wonderful internal debates on whether to just grab the damn thing off you or figure out the best way to inform you of your predicament without throwing you into a tizzy. (Mama once had a little old lady try to remove one from the region of the left ear, only to find out that it wouldn’t come off!) Try to come up with wild replies for anyone brave enough to tell you there’s a spider on you. (Mama’s favorite is “Her name is Henrietta and she’s pregnant. Has she had the babies yet, because I’m one TIRED spider midwife!) Hours of fun, for $1.25!
And now here’s your weekly fashion tip, folks! Being that it’s the fall season, Mama recommends a nice Harris tweed theme for all your over-garments, as it’s one of those timeless classics that never fails to impart elegance and a sense of style right from the get go. Tweed jackets are a lovely choice for both the masculine and feminine types. Masculines should consider adding a nice poor boy cap and wool scarf in navy or gray, and feminines can add a beret and scarf combo in the same colors to pull off a fantastic package that says “I’m somebody!” To really throw that outfit into wonderful completion, keep in mind that brown calf skin gloves are a beautiful addition to any wardrobe (well, maybe not Gothic Modern, but that’s a subject for another column).
As always kids, the most important part of any wardrobe is authenticity. Mama has seen some pretty insane combinations turn out alright, as long as the wearer has confidence in themselves. Each of you is a stunningly sexy creature, with a boat load of charm and good qualities, who should always keep in mind that no matter your style – the only thing that really matters is your happiness.
And now, for another matter:
While out and about this Hallo-weekend, many of you darling readers came up to me to admire my hairpiece and outfit, (as seen in the photo to the right). Due to reader response over my weave of choice, it is Mama’s great pleasure to announce a new feature! On the third Monday of the month, Mama will create a Fabulous DIY Day, with complete instructions on how to build an entire drag outfit (including pictures of the trickier parts such as tying shoelaces, buttoning flys, etc). Suggestions and requests are always welcome darlings, mail such things to firstname.lastname@example.org.
That’s all for this installment, lovelies. Remember that this week we have our special interview edition with the hopefully unscathed Deb Graf on Wednesday, and on Friday a fabulous surprise interview in addition to our usual ribald merriment.
Remember my dears – Live large, Take charge, and for god’s sake – love one another!
Originally featured on eroticvancouver.com Oct. 28, 2013